#i for one think it is cool to see different events unfold in the same environment and setting
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xenosyte · 9 months ago
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If you can accept that the halo tv show is like an AU fanfic, it is actually pretty good and fun
If some 14yo teen can write Arby and Chief smutty fanfic on AO3, then Pablo Schreiber can produce his own AU reinterpretation fanfic show!
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alex-thegiraffeboyy · 2 months ago
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Chapter 2: From The Start
Summary: Maybe Vi is in love with you too. She just doesn't know how to tell you.
Words: 1.0k
Bewitched Masterlist
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Everyone has noticed. Mylo, Claggor, Powder, Ekko. Even Vander and Benzo.
They've all noticed.
Except them.
Everyone has noticed how Vi looks at her when she thinks no one is around. How her eyes usually soften and a smile is almost always there in a subtle way.
Vi hasn't noticed how she looks at her on those evenings where the two of them are quietly just watching the sunset in each other's company (though they always end up seeing each other without them noticing). It's not like they've ever tried to figure it out. They don't need reminders that they don't feel the same (although they do).
It has become a custom among her siblings to bet on who will confess first, they have it divided into categories and everything. They find it fun, it's like having their own show 24 hours a day. Mylo really likes to tease them just to see them get angry and nervous. It's worth putting up with Vi's anger just to see it.
Vi definitely doesn't think it's funny. She's afraid that at some point the teasing will make you so uncomfortable that you won't want to be with her anymore. That's clearly not the case for you, but she doesn't know that.
Oh, The burning pain…
Recently a new event happened on Mylo's favorite show "Two sentimental blind women in love". It was supposed to be a conversation just between them, but he was passing by and couldn't help but stick around (with the intention of listening in to tell others, of course - more for the love of gossip, honestly). They were helping Vander fix up the bar a bit when she was telling Vi about a person she met while helping Benzo with the store. More specifically, a girl her age.
"Seriously Vi! She had it all curly with different colored highlights. She also likes to draw! She stayed a while to check out the store and happened to be carrying her notebook..." blah blah blah.
Vi listened to her in silence, turning her back to her as she cleared some tables (but more so that she wouldn't see her expression -which Mylo could see perfectly from his place). Feelings of insecurity and misgivings slowly growing in her chest. She would respond with little monosyllables like "yes", "great", “cool”, "no", "I don't know", etc. At some point in the story she noticed Vi's attitude, so turning to her, seeing her carefully cleaning the tables and chairs, she decided to ask.
"Hey... Are you okay? You seem a little irritated and... I don't know, you seem mad about the way you're clearing the table. You haven't been talking much this time either, and I know I've been talking a little too much so..." Mylo held his breath as he watched the scene unfold in front of him with wide eyes.
"It's nothing, just... Some hard spots to remove and I'm kind of concentrating on it. Sorry"
Mylo came close to letting out a strong laugh.
The rest of the conversation is history.
Vi would like, if this were reciprocal, for her to confess first. Vi feels she doesn't have the finesse. She knows what she feels, but she doesn't know how to express it, and that makes her feel insecure. She hates feeling insecure. But she feels it even worse when she doesn't know if you feel the same way. So she keeps silent while at night she wishes hard that one day you will love her like she loves you. That one day you'll wake up and tell her you love her, so and maybe only so she could tell you everything she feels.
Because maybe then she could tell you that when she talks to you she feels like her heart is abruptly pierced with all the love and peace that your presence gives her, and that when they are just both being themselves and sharing laughs and stories she feels like nothing she says has coherence and she sounds crazy. (Don't you feel it too?). And to be able to tell her, from the bottom of your heart, with your own butterflies, that you have been in love with her from the beginning.
But what can she do? She doesn't even know if she likes girls…
Sometimes she thinks about it before she goes to sleep. Lying in her bed staring at nothing. Not being reciprocated. And what would be even worse, that she would disown her for liking her, that you would push her away (even though part of her knows she's not that kind of person). She feels that her love is driving her crazy. She blames herself for worrying so much about it when she has much more serious problems to worry about. But she can't help it.
There are days when she feels that what she feels is too much, it feels like if she doesn't say it she might explode, so she builds up her courage and goes to look for her at Benzo's store. But as soon as she sets foot inside and sees her... she loses all his courage. She feels her heart racing, as if he wants to flee her chest so he can enter hers and curl up next to her own heart. She feels butterflies flutter nervously throughout her system, some reaching up to her head and screaming loudly words full of nervousness and insecurity. None of them ever dares to leave her system to tell you how she feel. So she makes up a silly excuse like Vander sent her to help when she was coming back from a job or something. Sometimes it even happens to coincide with her finishing her usual duties with Ekko, so they go for a walk or go to their usual place on the abandoned roof.
Benzo can only laugh silently after they leave.
She confesses to herself that she knows. She knows that she have loved you from the beginning, though not romantically, but she loved you. That from the moment you met her something about her managed to capture her full attention. Maybe it was the sweet way you empathized with her and Powder, maybe it was other things.
She confesses to herself and to no one else that she loves you and thinks of you every day.
She confesses for herself and no one else
That she has loved you from the start.♡
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valictini · 10 months ago
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I want to take a moment to appreciate all the cool stuff that Tubbo's death brought to the RP.
(obv talking about the characters there)
First of all, the way that it was the culmination of months of RP where Tubbo isolated himself more and more and more, until he genuinely thought no one cared about him? Him constantly putting his last lives on the line, culminating into an EGG of all people killing him? Delicious. Also we got to see Creation again! And we learned a bit more about Tubbo himself! He lost his purpose... Which apparently is a program of some sort? Wdym he wasn't alive to begin with? Is he a cybord-adjacent being like Aypierre? Or maybe something completely different, like a code? A fully grown egg??? So much to think about!
(I could just feel the excitement in cc!Tubbo when he saw the death coming like awwww yes it's all coming together)
(Also absolutely HEARTBROKEN that he died literally like 30 minutes before the Valentine's day event where Fred was apparently supposed to show up!!!! Guy really couldn't chose a worse (better) timing!!!!)
We also got to see the reaction of others too!
New egg drama, with Richas being the one who landed the killing blow. We got to see the horror and despair in Sunny and Chayanne, the only ones who knew for certain that Tubbo wasn't joking. The silent grief, that cannot leave until Tubbo's back. But will he come back the same as before? The possibilities are so scary and I can't wait to see how it'll shape the eggs in the future.
We got Philza who intially did not get it, assuming it was part of the months-long bit that Tubbo was Chayanne's egg and that they were just being dramatic for fun. This made the whole scene that much more tragic imo. And the pay off when realised later that holy shit he's actually dead? So cool. We got him and Creation's first meeting too, and after the initial confusion about whether or not he was a friend (war flashbacks to the day Luffy was kidnapped by a similar mysterious entity that showed up out of nowhere) he ended up doing everything in his power to help Creation, to bring his friend back!
And from what i've seen Fit is in full denial? Like absolutely refusing to acknowledge that Tubbo was even ABLE to die? And fans speculating that Pac might follow suite because of his past traumas? Awesome, can't wait to see how this unfolds. The possibility of a denial feedback loop is really interesting.
And finally as an Aypierre viewer, I'm excited at the possibility for him, the ONE person Tubbo actively dislikes, ending up providing the computer parts necessary to bring Tubbo back, since he's the only cc who has access to computer craft. I know it's unlikely to happen since literally no one knows he has computer craft so i don't think they'll think to ask him for the parts... but one can dream.
So yeah, overall this was a really pivotal and awesome RP moment
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pequenaotaku · 6 months ago
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Episode 04
"Hearts Looking For Love"
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It took me a while, but here I am again. I don't have anything new to comment on about the episode, just to say that of all the routes I play, my favorite conversation about romance was the one with Thomas. And by the way, the motorcycle ride came sooner than I expected. But that's not a complaint.
Like everyone else, I think, I was a bit disappointed with Jason's route in this episode. I mean, it was cool to hear the things he mentioned about relationships, about, for some mysterious reason, not being able to date someone seriously and all that. It left me curious, and I'm eager to find out the reason behind it. But that said, the picture moment was kind of... Meh. So, I decided to edit Amanda's picture, just like @kaumalade and @candysweetposts did. The context is completely different for my girl who, for now, is facing a mental battle to decide if she will open up to love again or not.
And about Roy, I don't have much more to say than what I said in my last post. Just one consideration: Have you noticed that in all his pictures so far, New Candy always has her mouth open?
Anyway, here are my headcanons for the episode:
Olivia, who is a sensitive person, was very shaken by all the recent events. From the kiss on the cheek she received from Roy during the game of truth or dare to the extremely cold breakup between Brune and Roy. She feels a bit guilty for being so relieved at how things ended. But overall, she tries not to think about it too much. It might be early, but she never denied that Roy affected her. She never had a serious relationship, and he seems different from the guys she has known.
There are no significant changes from the episode to how I imagine my headcanon of Colette. The only thing I altered is that since she and Thomas have been close acquaintances for some time, this wasn't the first time she rode on the back of his motorcycle. The conversation resonates with the same beats because it's very much in their nature, as Colette has a platonic crush but doesn't want to say anything too directly about it because she's afraid of his reaction. Still, it was a pleasure to know what he thinks about the subject. And since it was Thomas himself who brought up the topic, she couldn't help but feel a bit hopeful that things might develop in the future. She has had flings in the past, but they were never relationships that lasted long.
With Meredith, things happen quite differently. At Goldreamz, some employees started drooling over Jason's Instagram photos, which, by the way, Meredith herself manages and maintains. She overheard their passionate and platonic conversation and called them out to get back to work and stop gossiping. However, the conversation stayed on her mind for the rest of the day. As I mentioned before, the whole thing with Ioan happened to her, even though it was four years ago. She's in a tight spot. She doesn't want to make the same mistakes, and her heart is still hurting. The mourning period is always different for everyone. And her situation with Jason is complicated. He always teases her, she doesn’t hide that she likes it sometimes, though she’ll never admit it. But being his assistant, she knows the ins and outs of his life and understands it would be a real soap opera if she started to seriously invest in it. At night, leaving work, she takes a taxi home and, scrolling through her problematic boss's Instagram profile, admiring some photos, she reflects on the whole situation. An insecure expression. She is afraid of how things will unfold in the future.
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It turned out longer than I expected… In any case, the credits: the clothes I used to edit the bases, I got from @candysweetposts's Drive, and as for Olivia's braid, I found it here.
See you soon~
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Thoughts I had while watching episodes 6-8 of Bridgerton Season 3. Yes, I finally watched all of Bridgerton. Yes, I have many thoughts about episode 5, but I need more time to compose them. Don't read more if you don't want spoilers.
Episode 6
-Yay Francesca & Lord Kilmartin. I adore this couple almost as much as Polin.
-Eloise & Pen's first real talk in Pen's bedroom. Maybe they'll get their friendship healed.
-Violet & Lord Anderson 😍
-Why does Lady Danbury despise her brother?
-That little dance in the church 😍😍😍
-I get why Cressida did what she did. I would've done anything to avoid marrying an old creepy dinosaur as well. But she just makes everything worse and worse.
-That talk between Portia & Pen. I suspect it is supposed to be sweet, but I hate it, especially after seeing how things have been in the past. I don't trust or like Portia.
-Violet unable to show Francesca & John the same level of excitement & love as she gives Polin is hard to watch.
-Pen's sisters suck.
-I really, really, REALLY wish Colin had known the truth before he proposed & they had sex. That is something they changed from the book, and not for the better.
-Oh lord, Cressida is a horrid writer & both she & her mom know it 😬
-Benedict is not handling Anthony buying his place at the art school well. I hate that Benedict is denying his creative abilities. The man has talent and he's so hurt and doesn't believe in himself anymore, and it hurts to watch.
-I think what I hate most about Portia treating Pen decently is the fact that I can't believe it will last, nor do I think that Portia is being genuine. I think this is all cause she's trying to keep Colin's favor. And it frustrates me. Because Pen deserves better.
-The unfolding flower thing was cool.
-Oh boy, I feel so bad for Francesca. She just wants to be with John & be happy. Definitely bringing up some feels from my own engagement.
-Lady Danbury & her brother 😔
-i hate aimless Benedict.
-Colin twirling Pen is everything. I love happy twirling.
-I really appreciate the deaf representation this season.
-Cressida's red dress would be stunning if not for that horrendous giant bow.
-Colin is going to be writing so much smut for Pen. I guarantee it.
-Pen not wanting Cressida to take credit for all her hard work, boy do I feel that.
-I get that the queen is supposed to stand out from everyone else, but her dresses seem to be from a completely different time period. Like, I know that the costumes aren't necessarily period accurate, but wouldn't everyone be trying to match the queen's style of dress?
-Peneloise ❤️❤️❤️
-Ok, writing with a quill & ink in a carriage seems next to impossible to write something legible.
-Colin's face on discovering the truth 😔
Episode 7
-This fight. Oh god, Colin's crying. Pen's crying. I'm crying. This is brutal.
-Pen's issue of LW calling out Cressida 10/10.
-I've said it before and I'll say it again. I would watch the Lady Danbury & Violet show.
-Colin & Eloise's talk ❤️
-Really, Colin? You are the one who was alone with Pen countless times, constantly sought her out at events, ruined Debling's proposal, left her without prospects, & she "entrapped" you? I think not.
-I can't decide what I feel about the Tilley & Benedict & Paul storyline. Was it necessary?
-Flustered Violet getting called on by Lord Anderson is adorable.
-At least Cressida seems to feel so e remorse, though if they go the book route she will be all blackmaily by the end of this episode or the beginning of next.
-"Our mother adores you!". Benedict I love you.
-I really like the Mondrich family. Will loves his wife so much.
-I love Genevieve & Pen & wish we had more interactions between them.
-"No such thing as true love without first embracing your true self.". I think I need that on a shirt.
-As a very short girl, I love that they show Pen standing on raised areas to be more eye level with Colin.
-I'm glad Pen called him out.
-Welp he really was going to try to finger her on the street. Poor boy is so in love & horny even when he's mad 😅
-Kate & Anthony sitting Colin down 🥹
-Kate. I just. I love her.
-The little wave Anthony gives Kate as she leaves him alone with Colin 😍
-I am glad Lady Danbury & her brother are clearing the air.
-Lord Greer with the mansplaining of a nom de plume.
-Colin when he sees Pen in her wedding dress 🥹🥹🥹
-OMSquee that veil 😍😍😍
-I know people go on about the carriage scene, but the wedding vows are so beautifully done. I will be rewatching that many, many times.
-Holding hands. I love it!
-Pen's sisters being nice is just as weird to watch as it is for Pen to experience.
-"A lot of dust in here too" 🥺😅
-So they're shipping Kate & Anthony off to India?
-Oh, Pen, I too know those feelings of new husband off talking to others and ignoring you during the reception. It sucks.
-I love the shot of them dancing with no one else around.
-Anthony, do not ruin your mom's chance at happiness. I will be very cross with you if you do.
-The queen interrupting what should've been a Polin kiss 🤬
-I get that she's the queen, but this is shitty behavior.
-Eloise is proving to have learned to be a better friend, and I'm proud of her. That hug ❤️
-This is the season of Polin and on Polin's wedding night we have Benedict's threesome? Really? I don't mind the threesome, I applaud Benedict embracing his bi-ness, but couldn't they have done that in another episode?
-Great, Cressida is up to no good again.
Episode 8
-Colin, Colin, Colin. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
-Rae with the promotion to housekeeper. She deserves it.
-Yup, they're going with the blackmail plot. They kept that from the book, but didn't have Colin learn the truth of LW before the carriage make-out & proposal? I am definitely salty about some of the choices this season.
-Cressida, I get that you are at the end of your rope and are making poor life choices, but I really hoped that you'd grown as a person.
-The love I have for Lady Danbury is more than I can express.
-Also, that is a gorgeous chess set.
-Phillipa & Prudence's husbands. These poor guys.
-Francesca, I too long for the quiet.
-These threesome scenes seem almost as unnecessary as Colin's brothel scenes in part 1.
-Ok, Colin, your speech is beautiful, but you don't know how shitty Cressida's dad is. But also, that defense speech ❤️❤️❤️
-Peneloise is back and I love it.
-I am done with this fucking threesome. I am here for Polin content. They couldn't have waited for Benedict's season to do this???
-Lady Danbury & Violet ❤️❤️❤️
-And more of the threesome. I am beyond done with it.
-Oh, Polin the separate sleeping arrangements 😔
-THE LETTERS.
-Oh hey, they're not going to leave the solicitor as a dangling plot thread. Wondered if we'd get more from him.
-Francesca & Violet ❤️❤️❤️
-Violet & Lord Anderson. They are absolutely precious.
-The piano duet ❤️
-"The house is far too warm.". 😳🙄😳🙄
-THIS IS NOT BENEDICT'S SEASON. I'M SO FRUSTRATED. POLIN SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MORE SCREENTIME.
-Ok, but I am so happy for more Benedict & Eloise on the swings. I've missed that this season.
-Pen's family does not deserve her.
-Oh, Pen, you have me in tears.
-Colin is so proud and in love 😍
-I really enjoy Finch.
-Well, with the blessing of Lady Danbury all is much better.
-"That was bloody brilliant." 🥹🥹🥹
-Violet dancing 🥹🥹🥹
-Did Francesca just fall for her husband's cousin???
-What was that??? 6 seconds of Polin smut? So much Benedict threesome and we get barely any Polin? Boo, I say. Boo.
-These babies are all giant.
Season 3 Part 1: Very Rewarchable
Season 3 Part 2: Oof.
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ourtearsofrain · 28 days ago
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Chapter 22- We Fought for The Fable, But Instead We Burn
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Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka, Jake and Josh Kiszka
Genre: angst
Word Count: just over 1.2k
Warnings: AU typical events/threats/violence, description of fight/killing and injuries, possible loss of sibling, murderous thoughts
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Jacob
The Garden
“I couldn’t let you die.”
He didn’t. Tell me that idiot didn’t just get himself killed when he was so close to winning, so close to coming home to us. Jacob’s teeth ache at the force of how hard his jaw was clenched, his eyes glued to the screen covering the entire wall before them. I can’t do this, I can’t watch my little brother die. I won’t let him. Just as he turns towards the side of the room where he knew President Starcatcher was calmly watching the events unfold, he realizes that his twin had beat him to it, already stalking across the room while throwing chairs out of his way in his rage. FUCK. I’ve never seen him this angry, he’s gonna piss some really important people off if I can’t stop him.
Joshua slams his hands on her desk as she looks at him unflinching, her face trained into a cool, collected expression as he stares daggers at her. “Get him out of there. Get Samuel out, right now.”
“Mr. Kiszka, just because he is your brother does not mean he gets any special privileges. You know the rules, the tradition. There is only one victor.”
“FUCK THE RULES, FUCK TRADITION! YOU CHANGED IT FOR US, SO CHANGE IT FOR HIM!” Jacob’s anger is replaced by panic as Peacekeepers surround them, knowing Joshua was toeing a very thin line. Just because they were mentors, victors, did not mean they were exempt from any consequences of their actions. His panic only grows as he glances back to the screen, seeing Samuel pull the dagger from his chest. Why would he do that? Is he trying to die? Does he want to die?
“Joshua.” Her tone is calm yet firm, her eyes steeled as she tries using the authoritative air that hung around her against him. “May I remind you that the circumstances of your games were quite different in celebration of the Second Quarter Quell. Do not make me remove you from this room.”
Hushed gasps and whispers fill the room, ripping Jacob’s attention from the scene before him to the screen. While he had expected many things to cause that reaction, he hadn’t anticipated what he saw. Samuel was laying in Daniel’s lap, kissing him as he held onto the other man as if he was afraid he would lose him if he let go.
“You- you idiot. I can’t let you go, not now. I can’t lose you, I need you. I need you outside of this goddamn arena because I- I love you.”
“I love you too.” Jacob had never seen Samuel look at another person the way he looked at Daniel, never heard him sound so genuine and utterly heartbroken.
I understand everything now. I understand why he sacrificed himself for Daniel. It would be better to let Samuel die there than to trade his life for Daniel’s. He would never forgive us if we got him out alive but hadn’t done the same for Daniel. Jacob turns his attention back to his twin, not missing the way Joshua was eying a pen on the desk. He knew he was mere seconds away from using it against her, forcing her to get their younger brother out. And he also knew that Joshua could make anything a weapon if given the chance, and he wouldn’t hesitate when it came to Samuel’s life.
Jacob finds Joshua’s side quickly, ignoring the Peacekeepers edging closer to them at his actions as he places his hand on the other man’s shoulder, trying to keep him from taking drastic measures. “Joshua, please.” He offers no explanation as Joshua’s fury turns into confusion, surely thinking that Jacob was indifferent to the situation based off his cool demeanor. But Jacob was far from indifferent; he wanted nothing more than to burn the entire Garden down and kill President Starcatcher himself if she didn’t agree to save Samuel. He just knew how to make her agree, in a way that would preferably keep both him and Joshua alive, using logic as his only weapon.
He turns his attention to the President, training his face into a pleasant, calm expression. “President Starcatcher, if I may. I understand the rules and how it may look if you change them for a tribute who happens to be the brother of previous victors. However, how will the games go on if there’s no one to watch them?”
“Excuse me? I’m not sure I follow the point you are trying to make, Jacob.”
“I’m just thinking rationally here. With the citizens of The Garden, hell, the entirety of The New World holding both of them dearly in their hearts, are you prepared to face the backlash you will get by letting one of them die? Surely, ratings and views will drop, the people will be outraged. They might even boycott the games next year. Without viewers, what point will the games make?” Keep going, she looks more and more worried the longer you talk. She knows you’re right, she can’t deny it. “And once we lose our hold we have over the districts from the games, who’s to say they won’t try to fight back against the entire system, the entire foundation of our country? There could be another rebellion, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”
“You are blowing things out of proportion, they’d never rebel. By the time the next games roll around, they’ll have forgotten all about which of them died.”
“Maybe, but you don’t know that. How long ago was our games, Joshua?” Jacob turns towards his brother, relieved to see that he understood his strategy, his jaw clenched as he tries to stay calm.
“Four years ago.”
“That’s right, four years ago. And the citizens of The Garden still adore us, still talk about our victory with awed, excited whispers. They still love us just as much as they did four years ago.”
“I fear your victory has given you an ego, made you think you have more power than you do.”
“I don’t think so. It serves my ego no purpose to know this, it’s simply logic, quite obvious to everyone. Even to you.” The President stays silent, anger flashing behind her eyes. She knows I’m right. She just needs one final shove before she gives in. Jacob glances over at the screen, his heart breaking as he catches Samuel’s words.
“Tell my brothers, tell Jake that I’m sorry, that it wasn’t their fault.” He’s running out of time. We’re running out of time.
“If you won’t take my word for it, maybe you’ll listen to the people.” Jacob makes his way around her desk briskly, the roar of the crowd below them barely audible before he opens the window, their chants and screams reaching them even on the top floor of the building.
“SAVE HIM!”
“GET THEM OUT!”
“LET THEM LIVE!”
“See? The people want them both to survive, will you really deny them this? I’ll ask you again, are you prepared to face a rebellion? How long do you think you’ll last with all 12 districts and The Garden turned against you?”
Jacob holds his breath as her eyes lock on his, making no move to break their eye contact as he stares back, unblinking. After a few seconds, she takes a deep breath before turning to her second in command, her voice flat despite the rage he knew must have been boiling beneath its surface. “Get them both out. Now.”
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Taglist: @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @milojames16 @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @sanguinebats @cheersdannyx2 @musicislove3389 @holdingup-fallingsky @freyjalw @hailthegodsong @currentlyfangirling10 @Maddie-Rae
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basedkikuenjoyer · 6 days ago
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And now we begin the second story of this Rashomon-style plague tale. This time with The Haruspex, Artemy Burakh. What the heck is a haruspex? That the type of Roman priest who'd divine the future via entrails of a sacrificed animal. But here...Artemy is more like the tribal surgeon for this frontier town on the Russian steppe. He went off to study medicine in the city for a while at his father's behest, came back home to the Town-on-Gorkhon when he got a letter from dad. Who's one of the deaths that kicks off the story of Pathologic.
Artemy's story is a lot rougher starting off. You're immediately mistaken for the murderer and his opening cutscene has him fighting off four dudes at the train station. You start with a reputation low enough shopkeeps won't deal with you and random men in town will chase you to start a fight. Once you get over that initial hurdle though you get the same events from a different perspective. Unlike the Bachelor the Haruspex is a part of these strange traditions. And he's not some insufferable little twink that thinks he's smarter than everyone. You have an entirely different set of relationships with townspeople and even just starting off it's a cool shift. Bachelor had the immediate respect of the town's elite, Haruspex works more with the scummy side of things.
I gotta say too, I think the difference between Bachelor and Haruspex really show the different sides of the Pathologic fandom well. You got a game that's really popular in its native Russia and as a cult classic with disproportionately queer Western audiences. Never mentioned this with the Bachelor but it's not an uncommon interpretation he's a trans man. With some decent points behind it including the art director for the game's studio being as such. The two make a nice dichotomy between tradition and modernity without being hamfisted.
Either way, interested to see how the Haruspex's path unfolds.
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hexpea · 8 months ago
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Ch. 20 - Decisions
The steel door to the execution chamber creaked open, breaking the tense silence that had enveloped the room. Satoru emerged first with his stupid grin plastered on his face. Right behind him was Itadori, looking bewildered but unharmed. As they stepped out, your heart pounded in your chest, and a wave of disbelief washed over you. Satoru hadn't gone through with the execution, sparing Itadori's life. It was a decision that left you dumbfounded and sent your mind racing. While you didn't always agree with what the higher-ups wanted, you were always too afraid to put up a challenge.
"Satoru, what did you do?!" You stammered, your voice trembling with a mixture of shock and confusion. It was a question you felt compelled to ask. The boy had the spirit of Sukuna living within him for crying out loud!
Satoru's blindfolded expression was cool and collected, as if he'd expected your reaction. "I made a judgement call," he explained. "Killing him right now wouldn't have served any purpose. Yuji-kun has his reasons for wanting to live, and I think he can be of use to us."
Itadori looked at you, his eyes suddenly filling with gratitude. His smile was almost just as wide as Satoru's. "I promise I'll make the most of this," he said with great sincerity, giving you an excited bow seeing as he figured you, too, were sparing his life.
You nodded with a worried expression, still trying to process the turn of events. It was clear that Satoru had his reasons, and you trusted his judgement, even if it left you feeling uneasy for going against the higher-ups' wishes.
Satoru then turned to Itadori, "c'mon, kid. Let's go take care of those ashes." You gave the pair a funny look, not getting the reference. He led Itadori away, leaving you alone with a bit of confusion and the aftermath of the failed execution.
You entered the chamber, the weight of the situation sinking in. Satoru's decision to spare Itadori was something you anticipated, but were still shocked by at the same time. It left you with mixed feelings. As you began to clean up the talismans scattered around the room, your thoughts began to swirl.
Your gaze immediately shifted to the large hole in the wall. You wondered just what exactly happened in that room as you stood outside. In any case, it was quite the reminder of the power that existed in the jujutsu world. You could only imagine the strength and chaos that could've unfolded in this room over the years of its use.
As you inspected the damaged wall, your heart began to ache with a different kind of turmoil. The recent revelation about your pregnancy weighed heavily in your mind. Satoru's reaction had been unexpected, filled with warmth and excitement, and it left you reeling. While you had tried to keep your feelings for him buried deep down, they had easily resurfaced. It was impossible to ignore the connection that still existed between you. It was true that you were engaged to Seiko. You had made promises to them. But the bond with Satoru, one that had been hidden and complicated, was something you couldn't ignore. The pregnancy had brought everything to the surface, forcing you to confront the conflicting emotions that were tearing you apart.
You continued to clean up the remnants of the failed execution, your mind wrestling with the choices you had made and the choices you were yet to make. There was only one thing that was certain for sure: your pregnancy was going to bring about certain consequences one way or another.
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It took quite some time in order to get all of the talismans off the wall. Afterward, you made your way back to Satoru's apartment. As soon as you walked in, you found him lounging on the sofa in casual attire. He greeted you with a coy smile, his eyes locking onto yours as if he could read the thoughts swirling in your mind from the day's events.
"Well, well, Y/N," he purred, his tone teasing, "finally finish cleaning up over there?"
You met his gaze, your own expression serious. "How's Itadori?"
Satoru's smile softened slightly as he sat up, stretching his arms overhead. "Oh, Yuji-kun? I got him set up in one of the dorm rooms," he said as you walked toward the sofa but remained standing. "He's fine, still a bit shaken up by everything but he'll be alright."
Relieved that Itadori was safe, you felt a pang of guilt when Satoru continued. "Thank goodness, now we can see about making sure the rest of the fingers are safe."
"Actually," Satoru winced with a crooked grin, "the higher-ups, I found out, were way ahead of us. They had nearby sorcerers check out the locations and there's quite a few missing."
Your eyes widened in dismay. "Wait...how many of them are missing?"
His grin finally faded, replaced by a more serious expression as he took a deep breath. "There are reportedly ten fingers unaccounted for."
The revelation hit you like a punch to the gut. You felt a sense of shame creeping in because it was your family that was supposed to be tending to these dangerous cursed objects. That many had gone missing?! It was a grave lapse in responsibility. It made you rethink ever leaving the school to begin with.
"I'm sorry," you muttered, the guilt weighing heavily on your shoulders.
Satoru, always calm and collected, reassured you. "It's not your fault, Y/N. There's been some general incompetence within the community, it seems. Besides, we've got a live-in GPS now -- and he's going to ingest the fingers so we can get rid of Sukuna once and for all."
"You're kidding," your jaw nearly dropped. "You're going to feed him the fingers?! Does that mean you still plan on executing him?!"
"Calm down, Y/N," Satoru chuckled as he stood up and headed to the kitchen to grab himself a snack. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But, for now, you're safe to go back home to Seiko." He grabbed a bag of chips from the cabinet above his refrigerator. He opened it and tossed a chip into his mouth. Meanwhile, you uncomfortably shifted your posture at the mention of Seiko's name. "And tomorrow, I'll be taking Megumi and Yuji to get the third first-year student. Her name's Nobara Kugisaki. She's strong, she'll be a valuable asset to the finger search team."
As Satoru munched on his snack, you couldn't help but feel the elephant in the room. The confession from earlier in the execution chamber lingered between you two, unspoken yet ever-present. Longing filled the air, the complex web of emotions that had been unearthed nearly consumed your thoughts.
"Right," you said, trying to refocus with your voice trembling, "tomorrow, Kugisaki. She can help with the fingers."
Satoru nodded as he continued to snack, his eyes casually not leaving yours as he watched your uncomfortable expression shift. Your gaze had fallen to the floor in an attempt to avoid the eye contact. "Exactly," he attempted to keep up the conversation's topic, "she's a tough one, but I think she'll get the hang of things."
There was a noticeable pause as the unspoken tension continued to build. Suddenly, Satoru could also feel the emotions that you were, that moment in the chamber tugged at your hearts.
"Y/N," he finally decided to address it, setting the bag of chips on the counter after rolling them shut, "we have some...important matters to discuss, I guess." He took a step closer to you, reaching out with one hand to caress and gently hold your forearm.
You looked up at him, your heart racing as you felt the heat of his proximity. "Yes, we do."
The large, open concept of the flat seemed to grow smaller as you both stood there. It was as if time had frozen and you were suspended in this strange moment of longing and confusion. You knew that something needed to come next, decisions had to be made. Your mind briefly began to conjure up a memory from the distant past, your time as close friends -- just eight years old.
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The afternoon sun cast a warm, golden glow over the park where you and Satoru played as children. Both of you had been inseparable at that age, sharing secrets and having adventures. It was an unbreakable bond, or so you thought. On this particular day, you had found yourselves lying on a grassy hill, watching fluffy, white clouds drift by on the vibrant blue sky.
"You see that one, Y/*?" Satoru pointed, his crystal-like blue eyes sparkled with mischief. His notorious smile was wide as ever as you laid next to him.
You squinted and studied its shape, trying to make out what you thought he saw. "I think...a bunny, maybe?" You cocked your head and pursed your lips in thought.
He snorted a laughed, his mischievous grin never leaving his face. "A bunny? Really? ...Well, I guess can see it!"
Your cheeks flushed slightly at his playful teasing. "Well, what do you see?" You asked with a bit of attitude, your own smile remaining.
"There!" He pointed at another cloud, and this time what he saw was obvious. "That one looks like a heart. You know..." he suddenly shifted the conversation with a tone of childlike innocence, "mine always feels kinda' funny when we're together."
You were confused by his words, but you couldn't help but giggle nonetheless. "You're so funny, Satoru."
He shrugged nonchalantly, shoving his hands into the pockets of the pastel blue hoodie he wore. "Eh, it's just clouds. Not as fun as the adventures we're going to have when we grow up."
You paid little mind to his statement as you looked up at the clouds with wonder as they began to change shape. You placed your hands around your eyes as if you were looking through binoculars and smiled, one of your front teeth missing in your grin.
Satoru looked over at you after you didn't respond. He suddenly couldn't help but notice how you smiled. The warmth he mentioned earlier spread in his chest. He didn't fully understand it, but being with you made him happy and excited in a way he couldn't explain.
You caught his gaze and smiled back. "What, 'Toru?" You giggled as the two of you shared a pure, innocent connection.
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As the tension hung in the air back in the present, Satoru finally broke the silence, his voice gentle but laced with emotion. "Y/*," he began, using your childhood nickname which seemed to bridge the years between you. "You know that no matter what you choose, I'll support you. We've been through so much already and now with..." he hesitated, suddenly unable to mention the pregnancy explicitly out of fear of growing too close, "everything that's happening, you don't have to face it alone. I'll take responsibility."
You took a moment to think of your options. A part of you yearned to embrace the child, to bring it into a world with the same sense of wonder and adventure you'd experienced with Satoru all those years ago. But reality was far more complicated now. There was your engagement to Seiko and the strange occurrences surrounding their behavior, the dangerous world of sorcery, and the unpredictable nature of Satoru's life that tugged at your better judgement.
He watched you closely, eyes locked on you as concern etched on his face. He could see the turmoil in your shifting expression. He understood the gravity of the decision and the issues that could stem from either choice.
Finally, you found your voice, your choice laden with the heaviness of the situation. "Satoru," your voice was small, and your doe-eyed gaze brought him back to that day you remembered. "I don't even know what the right choice is anymore. It's not just about me. It's about Seiko, the life we've been planning... And now..." you placed a hand on your lower stomach and swallowed hard, Satoru's eyes trailing the motion. You needn't speak anymore.
"What I said still stands, Y/*," he moved so that his hands were lightly placed on your shoulders for support. His eyes were almost insistent that you look up at them.
Your eyes filled with tears as the decision became almost too much to bear. It was as though the thoughts of your past were guiding you toward a choice you knew in your heart to be right. You took a minute to think, your mind racing through all of the possibilities and uncertainties. Satoru thumbed away one of your stray tears and gave a sympathetic smile as you thought. You took a deep breath and spoke, your voice filled with determination and the ghost of a smile that hearkened back to those carefree days on the grassy hill.
"'Toru..." your said firmly though your voice was hardly over a whisper, "come hell or high water, I want to go through with this."
Satoru's reaction was a blend of nervousness with his usual demeanor. He smiled that sly grin of his and tilted his head. "Well, I wouldn't expect anything less from you. You've always been the responsible type." His words held a certain mixture of excitement and apprehension, but he took the time to brush away another tear from your cheek. "And who knows, maybe our kid will have a unique perspective on life, just like their parents. Maybe they'll be born with a blindfold,...with a penchant for challenging authority, and an irresistible urge to eat kikufuku all day long." He looked upward with a fake tear at the corner of his eye, pretending to wipe it away as if he were already proud.
You couldn't help but chuckle at his humor, your face lighting up with a smile through the tears. For a moment, the tension was replaced with a lighter atmosphere. Satoru's teasing, even in the face of a life-changing decision, reminded you of the deep connection you shared.
You wiped away the last of your tears and gathered your resolve. "I need to go back home, Satoru. I have to talk to Seiko. I have to make things right."
His demeanor shifted once again, his earlier playfulness dissipating as a veil of realization settled over his expression. He nodded, but his voice held a hint of sadness. "Yeah, got it, Y/N. You have to do what's right for you and Seiko."
You felt the unspoken words between you, the truth that remained lingered but unsaid. You were both aware of your feelings but they couldn't be reciprocated. You loved Seiko and had to let the past be the past, even as you carried Satoru's child.
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bi-writes · 4 months ago
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Re: that Anon on writing Ghost as evil
Everyone processes trauma differently. Some break out of that cycle of abuse, some continue it, some start a completely different cycle unintentionally. I love seeing people write Simon differently because it's almost like you can understand more about the author and the author's personal experiences either facing or knowing someone/people with trauma. And I think that's really beautiful.
My partner was a victim of a lot of abuse in early childhood and, later in life, SA. I really have an appreciation for all the different ways Simon is written because I always find some sort of comfort watching the struggles he either goes through or his partner goes through as they navigate those flavors of PTSD. I don't think it's fair to expect him to be written in any one way. I really appreciate that you came to the defense of writers' explorations and made your stance clear on the idea.
Thank you for being so cool!!!
-💙 (idk if u have a blue heart Anon already but blue is my fave color. I normally send asks off Anon but I'm sending this one in on Anon just due to the nature of the ask ^^; so if u already have a blue heart Anon I'm not them!)
yes, fiction is such a beautiful thing. it could be really healing for a lot of people.
for me, i'm fortunate enough to really not have this kind of trauma in my past, at least not in a very serious manner. for me, i just like to explore how events can unfold in different ways. how simon can respond to events in his life, in good ways or bad, how the same situation can pull apart him for better or for worse.
it's fun to do this. it's fun to switch it up, to explore my own writing capability. i feel like i've posted a lot of range, and i'm pretty proud of that.
i also just think that at the end of the day, people are allowed to write however they want.
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swaps55 · 11 months ago
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First thing that came to mind was that you write icebergs. You have this very efficient style, less is more, and leave them wanting more, pacy and gimme the next chapter. And part of what makes it so compelling is the sense that there's so much more than the part we see, there's weight and momentum below the surface. There's something ominous about icebergs - danger that can't be stopped once its in motion.
Your writing is also very cool.
This is a hell of a compliment, and something I am very proud to be known for. Thank you. <3
One of the reasons I love Lord of the Rings so much is that all through the journey, if you kick a pebble off the path you're on, it would land in an entirely different story. I am no Tolkien, but I write with the hope of making the world feel bigger and more complex than the events unfolding right in front of you, or that what you're seeing isn't the complete picture.
One example that might fit this I can think of is from Cantata, where Sam's history with his mother gets doled out a piece at a time. You can tell their relationship is fraught, but you don't really know why, or what happened. And because the first time she appears in present action is from the POV who knows nothing about it, she's still largely a mystery you (hopefully) want to solve:
~
If the night wasn’t going off the rails enough, Clay nearly runs into Shepard rounding the corner to the ‘Yang’s airlock. He’s deep in heated conversation with a woman who, despite being several centimeters shorter, somehow still seems taller.
“Sir,” Clay stammers, as they both turn to look at him. It’s like seeing double, except she has shoulder-length silver hair instead of Shepard’s shaved head. Same cheekbones, same icy-cold stare, same posture. Aside from the gender difference, about the only way to tell them apart are the captain’s bars she wears on her uniform.
Also, she doesn’t look like shit, and Shepard…does. Christ on crutches what the hell did they do to him in Rio?
“Chief,” Shepard says, as if Clay was a deckhand he’d never laid eyes on before. The captain does not address him at all.
“Good to have you back,” Clay says, as anxious to get away from them as they appear to want to get away from each other. “I’ll see you on board.”
He hurries on, taking one quick glance over his shoulder before he reaches the airlock.
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ace-disgrace-on-the-case · 8 months ago
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(I'm placing this here so as not to clog the rp blog, but it is relevant to the events unfolding there)
@is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not I know you expressed interest in the events that have been going on for the past few days (and will continue for a while longer) eventually becoming something of a group-authored fanfic. I decided to take a crack at what that might look like and concatenated the events of one of the scenes from a few days ago (the bar meeting) into a single, readable chapter. It's a bit difficult given the mediums are different, and there was some overlap to untangle between conversations different characters were having at around the same time, but I think I've put something together that makes it cohesive and contains as much as possible of everyone's writing.
If this works, it should be a great way to bring everything together! I've included it below the read more for your reading pleasure.
This is still a rough draft, so I do apologize for that, but let me know what you think!
Melissa, in her SLDF dress uniform, walks into the bar of the Unity City Grande alongside Karrie DeLacey. The Marten-Steiner siblings notice an immediate commotion as every SLDF soldier in the bar stands instantly to attention, remaining so until Melissa salutes the officer nearest her and says, "At ease."
She shakes her head in amusement as the two newcomers walk over to Theodora and Dieter at the bar.
"We are here," Melissa says to the two possibly-former Steiners.
Theodora stands, offering a handshake. She's wearing her LCAF uniform, but with any patches and insignias removed. Without it all, the uniform looks empty; nothing more than a cobalt tunic and white pants, with empty rank epaulettes on the shoulders.
"Greetings, Melissa. It's good to see you."
"Good to you two as well," Melissa says. "I apologize for causing this to occur," she says solemnly.
Theodora waves her hand, as if to swat aside the general’s words. "You made this happen no more than I did. The Archon chose to revoke my nobility, so the blame lies with her, and her alone."
Dieter, however, merely nods, eyes fixed on Melissa's new rank. He's obviously distressed, but he's trying to hide it. After a moment, he snaps out of it, looking to Karrie.
"And you'll be Ms. DeLacey, I suppose?"
"I should be Ms. DeLacey, last I checked!" Karrie quickly adds. "And I do offer you my condolences again. Fucked up that they decided to hit you like that for doing the right thing." She shrugs. "Nobles."
Dieter chuckles, shoulders sagging.  "Indeed. My cousin has always been... a stubborn woman, but I hoped I could make her see sense. I maintain my noble status for now, but news of my involvement will reach her sooner rather than later, then it will be done for me." A savage gleam enters his eye. "Lucky for me, I've been preparing for something like this to occur."
“I don’t know what kind of promises I can make but if you ever want some help with that sort of thing, ha… you know how to find me is all.” Karrie pats Dieter on the back in a rough gesture of affection. “But cheer up, my noble friend! That’s tomorrow’s nonsense! Tonight’s is drink.”
Dieter holds up his half-empty glass, giving a wry grin. "Amen to that. What's your flavor? I'm buying tonight."
"Oh! Right, thanks." Karrie glances over at the bar for a moment. "If they do those here I like a Dark and Stormy. Bit of rum, bit of ginger beer, and a lime. It's a nice change of pace." She points at Dieter's glass. "And you? Someone of your means's gotta be drinking something interesting."
"Tonight? No," he says, taking another drink. "Tonight the only objective is get shit-faced, and do it quick. To that end, I've got the bartender coming over with a new glass of Glengerry Reserve every five minutes. Eventually, I fear I'll just have to buy a fucking bottle service, 'cause he came two minutes ago and I'm already done with this one."
"Does being a Lyran come with an iron liver or is that an acquired skill?"
"An acquired skill, gained over years of dealing with politicians, morons, and a sister with a death wish."
Theodora nods and gestures to the empty chairs at the table, opposite her and Dieter. "Please, sit, order something. We must celebrate your promotion, no?"
"I suppose we should," Melissa says, sitting next to Theodora. "But before we do that," she says, smiling with her voice, as even her somewhat modified beak makes that expression physically difficult, "here." She pulls out two small grey velvet boxes.
One she places in front of Theodora. Theodora pauses, poking at the box as if it's likely to explode. "Thank you for this gift of... a box? It's not going to blow up if I open it wrong, yes?"
"Neg, Theodora," Melissa giggles. "Just open it." She places the second box in front of Karrie.
"Shit, me?" Karrie says, taking it. "Damn, I must be magestrix of the universe or something the way everyone's being so nice tonight." She flashes a sly grin, looks to Melissa one more time, and opens the box.
Inside are the twin sapphire rank bars of an SLDF Warrant Officer.
"They are yours, should you want them," Melissa smiles. "You would be both a MechWarrior as a member of my Command Supernova Trinary, and the Chief MechTech for the Regiment.
 "I have seen enough, and heard enough, about your handywork and 'Mech skills to know you would excel at both at once, let alone either on its own... You need not say aff immediately, Karrie. But do think it over tonight. It would come with more than just rank, of course."
Karrie stops trying to cheer up Dieter for a moment and stares in shock. She's hard to read; her body is tense, but her face is pensive, almost wistful. Finally, she manages to speak. "I...I don't know what to say, Star Captain. That's a big offer for someone like me. I'm flattered. Just—completely floored flattered." Her drink arrives along with another of Deiter's glasses of liquor, and she takes a steadying sip. The expression on her face is strange; Melissa can’t quite tell if she’s crying, but she’s certainly staring at the sapphire bars like her life depends on them.
Theodora opens her own box, though she does so carefully, still not entirely convinced of the box's non-explosiveness. Dieter also braces somewhat, as if he expects the box to spontaneously combust.
Inside are two sets of twin emerald "bar and dot" rank devices - the rank of SLDF Major.
"They are yours, if you wish," Melissa says. "And technically, it's a promotion. I cannot have my prospective Nova Captain outranked by actual Captains, quiaff? It would come with more than just the rank, of course. You may not be Lyran nobles any longer, but you can be Star League nobles."
For a moment, Theodora, too, is silent, eyes fixed on the emerald insignias, running her hand through her hair. Before the moment becomes awkward, however, her training kicks in, and she straightens, snapping a crisp Lyran salute.
"I'm honored, Commanding General. I accept."
Melissa salutes back, the casual salute of an officer returning a subordinate's gesture. "Now then, Major Marten-Steiner. Theodora. We have several things to discuss. Firstly, you'll need a new paint job on your Atlas. How does SLDF Green and Black Watch tartan sound to you?"
"It'll suit me just fine, sir." Theodora pins the rank badge in place, straightening it to parade-ground perfection. "So, what's the plan? Given your shiny new rank, I suppose it's to be total war?"
"Indeed. I am told the First Lord will be issuing our orders within the day. The SLDF will deploy. Before that, however, we must attend to more personal matters," she says. "We need to refit, reprogram, and re-serial your Atlas, get you your new uniform, and most importantly, get you your new citizenship. You and your brother," she says, looking over to the still drunken Dieter, before smiling and looking back at Melissa. "And please, Theodora, just call me Melissa."
"Yes, sir. Er, Melissa."
Dieter points at Melissa, brows creased. "First, we're drinking. You're a damn general, now. And that's worth celebrating," he grins. "Unless, of course, the great Commanding General is too good to drink with us lowly soldiers and diplomats?"
"Absolutely not, Dieter," she says, sitting down at the bar. She waits for a bit, letting Karrie think, sipping her own pint of Timbiqui Dark, conversing with the bartender, who seems at once terrified, starstruck, giddy, and incredulous at just who he's suddenly serving beer and bar snacks to. Eventually, looking over at the still staring Karrie, she chuckles.
"Terra to Karrie? Terra, calling Karrie... Are you all right, Karrie?"
Karrie starts. “Blake’s sake! Scared the shit out of me.” Her face immediately twists into a shape of regret as she remembers where she is. “Oh! Shit, that’s…that’s not proper decorum at all, I’m so sorry about that.” She takes another sip from her drink and shudders.
“I’m…gonna have to think about it, Star Captain. It’s a lot to take in, is all.” A half-hearted look of mischief crosses Karrie’s face. “Tell you what: we both survive this, Star Captain? I’m yours,” she says, draining the last of her cocktail and looking around for someone to ask for another.
"Very well, Karrie," Melissa says. A look of contradictory, dead-serious mischievousnesa crosses her avian features before she continues, "I'm still making it temporarily official, though. I need a good MechTech and pilot to back me up. And you're much better than just "good", from everything I've heard. We'll need to talk about getting your Awesome up to SLDF standards. That means a full teardown and rebuild if needed. And she will get a new paint job. We will need jump jets as well."
"And it's General now, Karrie," she chuckles, switching to a more lighthearted tone. "Great Father's bones, don't make me remind you every time, quiaff?" she continues, mock-exasperated, handing her new cocktail.
“General! Agh, I—sorry about that. Won’t forget again!” Karrie laughs. “In that case, General, I just hope I’m every bit the woman you’re counting on.”
She lifts her glass in the air. “I think we’ve all got something to toast to, then,” she says, elbowing Dieter out of his drunken stupor. “To…something new! Whatever it’s gonna be. And to friends!”
"To new adventures, and new friends!" Melissa toasts.
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bluebudgie · 1 year ago
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So, initial SotO thoughts.
tl;dr: Liked it, not my favourite release.
More details below.
It's a little hard to compare to anything we had before since it's not quite an expansion but also a bit bigger than a regular LS release. Somewhere in between.
I liked it overall. I had fun (I don't think I ever didn't have fun with any release in this game). I do however have many smaller gripes that add up a little. Let's actually start with the biggest one:
The new maps
Well, obviously I loved the inclusion of chak on the new maps and seeing the little critters in a new shiny form was very exciting, but let's take the rose-tinted chak glasses off for a moment.
I like the fractal concept of the first map. It's interesting as an idea but I feel like it fell a little flat in execution. Rata Novus is probably the place that differs the most from the actual-Tyria version, and all the other fractals are just kinda... barely different? Like the Crystal Desert taken over by forged is just..... well, it's desert with forged in it. Like it already is in PoF anyway. And the Kaineng section kinda feels like that too, we have enough hostile jade bots in EoD anyway so... yea I don't know. Didn't do super much for me.
I wish NPCs were a bit more interactive. You can't really talk to many people at all. Core maps had so many random guys just standing around giving you little tidbits of dialogue. Especially the first map just feels very... barren.
Visually a great map nonetheless. Same goes for the second (non-hub) map we got, which is really unique in terms of architecture. We haven't really seen anything quite like it in the game before, so that's cool.
Exploration wise... ...yeah. I mean. Basically exactly what I had feared became true, no real exploration depth and at the very least on the first map you're pretty much expected to just skyscale to every point. Which goes really fast too, despite the whopping 50(or so?) POIs. I wish they had at least made some of the new masteries mandatory for reaching certain spots, but nope. Completed entirely without a single mastery leveled. Feels kinda pointless to introduce movement masteries if they aren't at the very least obligatory for certain events or map exploration. The second map makes the updrafts a little more useful since reaching some of the higher places can be a bit more tricky without it, but... yea I don't know.
I'm not exactly disappointed since that's pretty much what I expected to happen, but still I wish there were a few more interesting ways to get around places other than just straight up flying there. I guess I want more hidden stuff. Secrets. A jumping puzzle that spans half the map like in Draconis Mons. Well, for all I know they are there and I just haven't found them yet.
So yea, overall... visually beautiful; I'm glad about Rata Novus being a clownfest of snobs; I think if chak weren't in this I'd feel extremely lukewarm about those maps. That said, Amnytas has some of the highest quality grass I've ever seen in this game. Seriously what the hell is that grass.
Story and characters
I was worried about this for a bit while playing but the ending thankfully took the immediate worries from me for now.
It felt very... prologue-y. Which, in the end, it was. And I'm glad about that. I was so scared we were in another Gyala Delve situation of "here's an entire story that has absolutely no time to unfold and we'll abruptly end it pretending there was a conclusion". But thank god the epilogue made it clear that this was just the beginning to the storyline. (unless anet is preparing some clown make up)
So now that we had this introduction to the setting and first look into a new cast of characters I'm intrigued to see where all of this is going. I hope everyone we've met gets more screentime in the future and maybe some of them will tag along with us for the next adventures? The whole cast felt like it had a lot of potential. I want to see more of Gladium and Galrath. Isgarren seems interesting, I liked his dialogue. Sad about Mabon. Hoped Peitha would be a non-humanoid creature. Narcisse is cute. I like how they handled Zojja so far.
Didn't care much for the whole wizard tower story before SotO released, I'm decently interested now at least.
Gameplay-wise the player 2 experience was pretty miserable once again (Why exactly did I have to be a blue orb during the entire first flesh fortress instance? Why can I pick up and carry keys in the wizard's tower but then can't interact with the object they need to be used on? Seriously.) but that's nothing new.
As mentioned in another post, the German translation was a trainwreck of contextually wrong mistranslations, English sayings/proverbs translated literally into German when that is absolutely not how that works, misgendering (Zojja wasn't the only one with male pronouns - Yao was also back to that again) and entire chunks of voice lines randomly missing on several occasions. Seriously I don't know what went wrong here but please pay your localization team better. Or at least give them more context to work with.
Music
The few new songs I heard were nice. Lacking a bit in identity, but I guess it would be delusional to expect an EoD, HoT or IBS soundtrack here. GW2 music tends to be extremely high quality so I'm nitpicking on a high level with this one.
There is one battle theme that was really cool, though severely overused. I think it's the one that plays during rift events. Or like, during most of the release in general.
I can't quite explain why but I had several instances that made me think "this is what the PoF combat themes should have sounded like". The music as a whole somehow is very reminiscent of PoF. Like if someone took PoF battle music and went "chill a bit, please."
Was also nice to hear that one new ambient track that echoes the TD main theme and the Rata Novus theme.
Metas
They're okay. First map's meta drags on a little. Though I like collecting the essences. That one phase with the coloured bars is severely stressful. Second map meta is pretty neat. Was a little overwhelmed by it since it started literally 2 minutes after I got onto the map for the first time and I had no idea where anything was and just frantically followed the squad to find a giant squid bug demon on top of a huge tower. Seriously man give me a break. Fun experience though. Did it again on another day on an overflow map without a comm and we managed, though barely. Difficulty seems appropriate.
All in all...
Didn't completely blow me away. I liked it as a setup to something larger. Doesn't compare to any of the big expansions (though I do think the storyline in itself is at least more interesting than PoF, though it obviously lacks the polish of the expansion). If compared to LS seasons I'd say I had a better time with most of LS3 and LS4, and also large chunks of the Icebrood Saga.
I think how well SotO does in the long run largely depends on what gets added to it next. I'm excited to see more, and especially to get more context to all the new characters. Don't pull another Gyala Delve on me. Please.
And also.
Finally rid of the Commander title. Wayfinder is so much better.
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lucysarah-c · 11 months ago
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Okay okay
I like your opinions really but
To me really if someone cheated on me that is it , that ends the relationship , I mean what Erwin expect ? They coudle? . I really hated how Erwin treated her before even the incident. He was manipulating here, it's like she is always here and listen to me and love me , I don't need to do anything for her .
I don't know I think Erwin should really know that the moment he kissed Marie he ended his relationship with twiggy . What happened with levi , I'm not saying that's right, it's wrong but for a whole different reason, they shouldn't rush that's all , she was hurt . Not because that's cheating really , you know friends? I don't know if you know it but in this show Rachel and ross were the main couple and they had a break from their relationship , so Ross get drunk and sleep with someone else. Is it wrong? Yep ? Did he cheat? No , he didn't . The same here it wasn't cheating simply, it wasn't right
So nana ,I personally loved nifa more , nothing against nana it's just she shouldn't really judge people , friends protect eachother yeah but they support eachother. I think she wasn't that fair towards her or levi really but my favourite friend is linda , she is Queen she THE QUEEN
And twiggy okkay I agree with everything you said but I go easier on her cuz she's just young, and she is trying too much to make people acknowledge her , she is sad but I can really relate
Erwin, I don't know he is Cool but I like seeing people like him suffering, am i evil 🙈? Maybe but yeah I like it lol
Levi ,
Nothing, he is my man, my babe , my love, YOU ARE DOING GREAT MY LOVE KEEP GOING ** CHEERS CHEERS
Hi sweetie! It's great to see you around here again!
I completely understand your point. I've never watched Friends, but I have a general context, haha. However, I truly get what you mean! I always think that HG is a "POVs story," where almost everything is very "grey," depending a lot on how the character sees the events unfold. Like, haha, Levi has a much less "grey POV" about his actions. In my mind, Levi thought that the moment Erwin didn't prioritize Twiggy's safety, she was single for him. He could have "understood" a lot of stuff—each couple is a world of its own, and so on—but for him, the safety of those he loves is "above" any other nicety.
So in Levi's eyes, the relationship basically didn't exist even before the cheating, lmao. He says it in his first POV, "if he wasn't scared of losing her, then she wasn't important to him. That relationship was doomed even before I showed up."
If you ask me, the relationship would have been over for me the moment you introduced me as your assistant, LMAO. In that second, I'm picking up my stuff and telling you we are done.
OMG, I'm so happy you like Linda! Writing Linda is my favorite. She's such a badass. The mere mental image of her seeing Marie coming inside the hospital and running through people in high heels to listen to the doctor's appointment is so professionally wrong but iconic. I think Levi and Linda have a very weird relationship because both are extremely honest and fearless, but Linda has a way less charitable character. She lacks a lot of social awareness. Levi's favorite friend of Twiggy is Nifa, and it's clearly seen, but he can't help but chuckle sometimes with Linda. That girl is wild, and Levi kinda enjoys her comments. I imagine her saying, "No, I don't go to church, dear. You have to kneel to pray, and I don't kneel to anyone, not even to give a blowjob." and Levi can't help but chuckle. The girl has more guts than the entire MP formation together, and Levi supports that. Plus, Linda never fails to deliver the juiciest gossip from MPs, and how could Levi not love that?
But Linda does certain things just to bother Levi, like giving him one kiss on each cheek each time they meet, staining with lipstick because he hates it. Linda is that friend who would get 100% canceled on Twitter if people heard what she says, but she's also that friend who's got your back even if you murdered someone.
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deadboyfriendd · 1 year ago
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hello, i saw you're director's cut post and wanted to ask about bisbee? are you planning on writing sort of a fic story or are you planning on continuing with your letters format? i think the epistolary approach is really cool and such a good way of letting us inside a character's head fully while maintaining a focus of narrative and story since it's literally them communicating what they think is important for the recipient to know! you've mentioned before that you want this story to go in a more violent western path than like a spaghetti western, so i was wondering how you try to maintain that sort of tone along with, what i'm assuming would be a romance with y/n (pls correct me if i'm wrong!), like in atmosphere or character? i'm asking because the new frontier model always reminds me of the garrison mentality, the anxiety you feel in the fortress you've built against the empty nature outside, silent and unknown and waiting to catch ya, and i was sort of wondering if the romance would work in favour (like a part of the same chaotic messy world) or against it (a brief reprieve from the violent chaotic world)? i hope this question makes sense, but if you're not interested in it, that's totally cool and i'd love to get your general thoughts/something you want to talk about that no one's asked about! i still remember the first time i read stone gothic and was so in awe of it and brought back so many memories of my deep fascination with Catholicism and catholic architecture as a child and i was just blown away with the level of detail and care you put in your work! i'm the same age as you and i do a double take when i see how much talent someone my age has, i really am wishing you the best with whatever you decide to do with it, whether it becomes a career or a hobby, i hope it always brings you joy! hope you have a nice one and happy holidays!
Tbh, I've been thinking all day about how I was going to answer this ask because Bisbee is SO important to me and all of these things are things that I've been dying to talk about but didn't seem interesting enough to splat on the dash without someone asking first.
To answer your first question, yes, I do planning on making it a full-length fic with narrative and grief and bloodshed and romance. The letters gave me a really good way to ease myself into how I plan on building this version of Steve as the main protagonist of this fic, since I am planning on this being steve-centric as well as character building for my reader. I also think that my thought process when releasing the letters first serve as a prologue and a table of contents for the love story that I'm planning on having unfold between Steve and Y/N (Who I've affectionately named Elsie when I discuss her as a character- though I do plan on this fic being a second-person reader insert)
My biggest inspiration for this fic so far has been my latest read, Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It is a historical fiction work in which a fourteen year old runaway from Tennessee joins the army for the Republic of Texas in the 1850s and stumbles into the midst of the indian scalp trade in Mexico. I think it is a very graphic and violent depiction of the events that were actually transpiring without being shock-valuey or violence without purpose. It's a good breakaway from the mindless splatterpunk I've been reading for a while. I would LOVE to capture even a shred of Cormac McCarthy's prose in my silly little fic. I think this being my backing for my own narrative vastly differs from Cochise, where my main inspirations were Tombstone, and the Yellowstone spinoff 1923, which read a lot more like spaghetti western badassery and a narrative of coming-of-age and falling in love during westward expansion. In Cochise, I was also heavily inspired to create a character that spoke heavily of grief and the qualms of the west as a woman, especially one who had no choice but to carry on.
This version of Steve will probably go through similar things that The Kid in Blood Meridian will have to go through, and he will be hardened from the events that transpired in his life without choice. I do have my reader's main character arc being the fact that she is running from something in secret (and you will also see characters from Cochise frequently in Bisbee!). Instead of processing grief through each other, I plan on their love story being one in which Steve softens himself for her, and she, in all of her naievity and cloudiness, brings her back down to earth. Elsie is not from the west, and is learning quickly what they had to go through to get there. She was a merchant's daughter from Louisiana, and he thinks she has never known violence a day in her life. You talked about the garrison model and the anxiety that you feel is catching up to you, and that ideal is going to be SO heavy handed in the way I build this Steve. I originally panned him out as the Doc Holliday character, and it ended up morphing more into my eddie character. However, a recurring mentality that Doc Holliday ends up talking about was a sense of violent impending doom. Doc always felt like he was going to meet a violent and sudden end, and was always prepared for his death, and on his deathbead in the Sanitarium with Wyatt Earp, he talked about the irony in the gentle way he was dying. This was the one thing I wanted to retain with Steve's character in Bisbee, and where I got the, "I will not know gentleness in the way I love you." line. I can't WAIT for everyone to see how that plays out.
As for Stone Gothic, THANK YOU. That was one of my first works where I strayed away from writing silly little fics to where I wanted to write actual stories. I think that's kind of where I found my flame again and fell in love with creating that kind of narrative.
Thank you SO MUCH for this ask <3, I really appreciate having someone pick my brain and make me think about my work like this. If you have any more questions I would LOVE to chat about it anytime!
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protagonistheavy · 2 months ago
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I've had lots of thoughts on Life is Strange: Double Exposure and had been wanting to reserve most of them until after I see a second playthrough w/ different choices... but I've realized that this game might just have the least impactful choices and divergent routes of all the Life is Strange games, so it probably doesn't even matter. So far I haven't found a single choice that makes a substantial change to the story or how it unfolds -- every choice has minor immediate effects that ultimately result in the same experience.
Which is odd when I think back to the original LiS and how that game was sold so much on the premise of have different routes, choices, and interactions that encouraged you to use your time-rewinding mechanic to test different responses and try multiple playthroughs. Double Exposure goes farthest from that conceit out of the previous LiS games; True Colors at least humored a fair amount of different approaches and had slightly altered scenes/endings depending on your relationship with people, whereas it doesn't seem like there's anything you can do to change anything in Double Exposure, except maybe a binary relationship choice, maybe?
But Double Exposure is a good story, with some really exciting twists and cliffhangers that kept me hooked, but outside its main plot, there is basically nothing to see or do... which is really disappointing when the game can be finished up in, like, two to three hours. And most of those hours are just waiting for characters to fucking talk, I dont know why LiS does this in their games but all the dialogue lately is soooooo spaced out, it takes fucking forever for characters to just say their stupid smarmy lines sometimes with huge gaps of silence between characters speaking. The core mystery is captivating but threads involving side characters go only scene-long before being irrelevant. Effectively the flow of the game is be dropped into a confined area, walk around and talk to everyone, solve a rudimentary "swap-between-parallel-worlds" puzzle.
That power in particular has a lot of potential that the game doesn't tap upon. The concept of warping between two timelines that diverge from a specific event is really cool, but the gameplay barely makes use of it -- and when it does, it's for puzzles that feel largely arbitrary or just plain ol boring. Like there's only one stealth section in the entire game, the only point at which it feels like there's some actual tension in the game and requires you to use your powers intelligently -- "intelligently" as in "go to the world where no one's looking for you and walk around the obstacle." Aside from that, every puzzle can be summed up as either "go to the other timeline and grab a thing" or "go to the other timeline and eavesdrop through dimensions." Both of which have their own fucking little plot/worldbuilding problems lol.
This power just isn't as captivating as previous abilities we've seen in LiS. It's far more awkward and clunky, requiring Max to go to designated areas to warp, unlike her old rewind power which could be used anywhere. I like the surface-level differences between timelines -- I especially love the touch that the lighting in the Living World is brighter and warmer, while the lighting in the Dead World is dimmer and colder -- but the plot fails to make a theme out of this ability, imo. The lesson learned from the first LiS is, obviously, you can't fix the past -- spoilers aside, Max's new powers just don't seem to mean anything, they're just a new expansion of what she can do, as new mechanic/plot gimmick that sounds interesting but is stuck in an awkward murder mystery that I just never cared about as much as Max does.
Max... is just a weird character here. A lot of people say "this doesn't feel like Max," but I disagree; this does indeed feel like an adult Max. The problem is that she just shouldn't be the protagonist imo lol. The baggage she carries from previous entries is just so heavy, that to drop her into a new setting where she's supposedly made a whole new group of bonded-for-life friends is just hard to take in. I don't dislike Moses or Safi or anyone else really, but I don't like them as much as Max does, because I'm only just meeting these people for the first time before the plot happens. In the original game, Max was a shy student still coming out of her shell w/ new confidence granted by her powers; in Double Exposure, she has a reputation that makes her quite popular with a lot of different people, resulting in relationships that we're just told about. For example, we're expected to hate on Lucas -- the bad white guy of this specific Life is Strange -- but we're only expected that because his introduction involves Max and Safi shit-talking him. Without that emotional slant, you'd just read Lucas as a kinda-cocky writer/teacher, up until he actually does something kinda shady. In this sense, I'm hardly ever thinking like Max, who acts so much like a little Nancy Drew + JRPG protagonist fusion, immediately suspicious of everyone and just sort of conveniently allowed to investigate. I really think Double Exposure could have benefited from having a new protagonist, and maybe including Max as a curious NPC that only gets so-involved.
So yeah I guess Double Exposure is okay, but it's missing a lot of the appeal that reels me into LiS games. The vibe isn't there, there's so much potential that's untapped, the characters don't charm me significantly, the mystery isn't especially exciting. It manages to not do anything particularly bad, just fails to be a notably good LiS experience. Much of this game needs more meat -- fuller and finished plot threads, more choices and routes, more involved puzzles and use of Max's powers, and just more time to let the mystery sink in. Just like True Colors, almost all of the game resides in the first two/three chapters, leaving the last two bare of content and mostly being one extended climax. I think what stands out most between Double Exposure and past LiS games is the choices -- and how they just don't matter, like, you get to that end-of-chapter menu where you see how your choices stand up to other players, and it hits you that none of these choices fucking matter, most of them are "did you actually notice this or not" rather than being actual choices, it feels almost depressing to see this screen because it used to be such a part of the LiS experience but here it feels like a weird summary of what just happened.
I've got even more spoilery thoughts but I'll give that like maybe another week before I divulge into that, if I still even care lol.
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anon-apple · 3 months ago
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Hot Soup and Soft Bread 10
Table of Contents and Synopsis <- Chapter 9 Read Chapter on WordPress
Chapter 10: Instant Noodles with an Egg IV
One day around sunset, electricity went out in Qin Qin Homeland for a few hours. Because of the high temperatures, Liu Xiaoying went downstairs and found a shaded place to cool down in the breeze. Zhou Cunqu stubbornly stayed inside and ended up with a heatstroke. He took some medicine and groggily fell asleep. He slept for a long time. When he woke up, the sky was already pitch black. A mug of herbal tea sat on his nightstand. Zhong Qiuyan had attached a sticky note and wrote: Make sure to drink more water. Rest up today. I won’t be coming today at midnight.
After Cunqu sat upright, he discovered another note beneath the mug. It was already damp from the condensation on the teapot. Cunqu unfolded it. Qiuyan had written neatly on top of the piece of A5 paper: Apology Letter.
Cunqu couldn’t help but laugh. He continued reading. Qiuyan solemnly apologized for his behavior of forcibly kissing him. Then he started analyzing the cause and effect of this event as well as introspecting on himself. At the very end, he wrote:
This is how things are. If you are still angry, I’ll bring a feather duster tomorrow and beg for your forgiveness.[1] But before I ask for forgiveness for my offenses, let me offend you a bit more. It’s like this, Zhou Cunqu, you’ve already read what I wrote before this. I think I probably like you. If you are interested in a relationship… Here, Qiuyan had crossed out the last few words and wrote: The next time you want a relationship… He crossed that out again. Then he wrote: The next time you want to find someone for a relationship, can you consider me? Once again, he crossed out the entire sentence and wrote: I want to be in a relationship with you. 
At night, Cunqu sent a text to his ‘Smart Assistant’: I was stuck inside for too long today. Why don’t you still come by today and let’s go for a walk?
After a few minutes, Qiuyan unexpectedly replied: No.
Cunqu was taken aback for a few minutes. Qiuyan immediately followed up with another text: I have some things to take care of later tonight.
Cunqu thought about it for a bit and replied: All right.
Qiuyan bonked his head a few times against the wall at A’Shan’s auto repair shop. A’Shan was squatting down and examining the chassis of a car. He turned to look at Qiuyan and said: “Knock your head again and the few brain cells you have are gonna scatter away.”
Cunqu also squatted down and hugged A’Shan from behind and whined: “Help me A’Shan. It hurts so much. It’s like there’s a little hand clutching at my heart right now, grabbing one fistful then another.”
A’Shan mumbled to himself: “What kind of…”
Qiuyan gloomily said: “What if he says, he doesn’t want to. Then what do I do?” He leaned against A’Shan’s back and refused to get up.
That night, Qiuyan couldn’t fall asleep. The next day he had a day off, so he just got up, leaned against the windowsill, and had a smoke. Like he told Cunqu before, in the past he liked a girl from the same village. But at that time, Da Yu liked her, A’Shan probably also secretly liked her, so he also decided to like her. In middle school, their village handed out milk boxes[2] to the students between classes. The flavor that everyone received was different. That girl apparently liked strawberry-flavored milk. So Qiuyan saved up a bunch of strawberry-flavored milk boxes, put them in a little basket, and brought it to confess to her. The girl said she liked neither strawberry milk nor Zhong Qiuyan. 
Qiuyan had a cigarette between his fingers, buried his head in his arms, and groaned “Help…”
Cunqu wasn’t the same, Qiuyan thought. When that girl rejected him, he threw it to the back of his mind and forgot all about it. But now, if Cunqu rejected him, Qiuyan felt like he probably would need to hug Da Yu and A’Shan and bawl for two or three months. Every time he shut his eyes nowadays, all he could see was Cunqu’s face.
He squatted down and leaned against the wall. He had taped the card Cunqu wrote on the side of his nightstand. He stared at those few lines of the poem and took a drag out of the cigarette.  
---
The next day, Cunqu waited for a while downstairs, but Qiuyan still didn’t show up. He called him. Qiuyan picked up and said weakly: “I’m almost there.”
Cunqu, wearing a grey t-shirt and a pair of shorts, was leaning against the entrance door. Qiuyan saw him from far away. When the car stopped, Cunqu opened the door and got in. He asked Qiuyan: “Why don’t we go for a walk today?”
Qiuyan didn’t turn to look at him. Staring at the path in front of him, he shook his head. Cunqu shrugged and said: “Then let’s drive.” But Qiuyan didn’t start the car. Cunqu patted his face and asked: “What’s up with you today?”
Qiuyan turned and asked: “Ge, no matter what, you’ll let me accompany you and keep helping you until Liu Xiaoying’s birthday in November right?”
Cunqu nodded. Qiuyan felt a bit relieved and sighed at himself. As he started the car, Cunqu asked: “Your note from yesterday. Were you confessing to me?”
Qiuyan abruptly slammed the brakes. Cunqu almost fell out of his seat. Qiuyan helped him up and said, “Sorry.”
The dancing girl figurine spun in circles in between them.
Cunqu grabbed Qiuyan’s hand, pulled him slightly closer to himself, and wrapped his arms around Qiuyan’s neck as he said: “When you are kissing, don't randomly poke around in my mouth. Take it slow. And remember to breathe through your nose.”
Cunqu leaned in and kissed him. His tongue traced the tip of his nose, his lips, teeth, and intertwined with Qiuyan’s tongue. The car wasn’t started, the AC wasn’t on. The interior was extremely stuffy. When sweatdrops on Qiuyan’s forehead rolled down and landed onto the back of his hand, he opened his eyes. Cunqu pulled away, but Qiuyan hugged him closer and messily kissed his eyelids and cheeks. When he finally kissed enough, he reluctantly stopped and asked: “Ge, what did you mean by that?”
Cunqu sighed and asked: “Did you think I was going to reject you?”
Qiuyan nodded. Cunqu smiled with exasperation and said: “I thought we had been flirting[3] with each other for some time now. But looks like there's a fool who was not on the same wavelength at all. He couldn’t even tell that I was also interested in him.
Qiuyan wiped away some of the sweat on Cunqu’s forehead with a napkin. In confusion, he asked: “Ah? We’ve been flirting with each other?”
Cunqu replied: “I even copied verses from a love poem for you, you fool.”
Belatedly, Qiuyan started to mentally review everything that’s happened. Cunqu unbuckled his seatbelt as he said: “I don’t date fools, I’ll be leaving first.”
Qiuyan immediately locked the car doors and dragged Cunqu into his embrace. “You’re not going anywhere,” he said.
The little girl figurine spun and spun and knocked into Qiuyan’s head. Qiuyan let out a swear, then immediately kissed Cunqu’s cheek. Cunqu said: “Have you considered that I won’t be able to go out on dates with you, I don’t have a job, my mental state is not quite stable yet…”
Qiuyan interrupted him: “We can date at home. If not Xiaoying’s place we can go to mine. Seeing you right after getting off work would make me so happy.”
Cunqu didn’t say anything for a long time. Qiuyan urged: “Ge, say something. I’m starting to feel the little hand grabbing at my heart again. If it grabs a few more times, I’m going to have a heart attack. I’m being serious.”
Cunqu’s laugh came out a bit choked up. He scolded: “What are you even saying…”
He let out a sigh. Lowering his head, he wiped away the tears that were about to spill over from his eyes. Then he said: “What I wanted to say is the same. Every day when I'm able to see you, I feel really happy. Zhong Qiuyan, although right now I’m not very good, in fact, I’m quite awful, I still really want to be with you.” -> Chapter 11
Footnotes
[1] I think he’s implying Cunqu can use the feather duster and beat him with it to vent his anger lol [2]Milk in China are commonly shelf-stable. They often are sold in little cartons the same way juice does.  [3] Cunqu doesn’t say “flirting” but instead says he thought they’ve been doing 暧昧 (an mei), this word literally translates to “ambiguous/ambiguity” but is often used in the romantic sense to refer to an attitude or a period of time before the relationship is confirmed but both parties are acting very…romantically “ambiguous” towards each other. Similar idea as UR/ST (unresolved romantic/sexual tension) lol. Oftentimes (not always), both parties are aware of each others’ feelings to some extent during this phase, but hesitate to actually speak it into existence because they either enjoy the ambiguity or due to some other concerns discouraging them from starting a relationship. But our dear friend Zhong Qiuyan here was just completely offline lol.
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T/N: THEY'RE TOGETHER!!!! there's so much to love in this chapter. Cunqu being the older, and more experienced one in a relationship, guiding Qiuyan through his feelings and through the kisses. But yet at the same time, being too self-aware of his current state, being insecure of his ability to be a good enough lover to Qiuyan. And Qiuyan immediately reassuring him that it's ok, and just providing so much emotional value by straightforwardly displaying all of his feelings, letting Cunqu see exactly how much he values him. I adore Qiuyan for that. He doesn't need to be an expert in relationships, he might not know how to kiss, but he's so caring, so honest, so genuine, and he intuitively knows how to love so well. (also poor A'Shan hahaha he probably thinks his good old sworn brother has finally lost his last brain cell)
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